Monday, March 19, 2012

How to Handle Being the Healthy Spouse When Prepping

This post isn't really going to be helpful to the prepping community at large, unless its value lies in you suddenly realizing you aren't alone, that there are others out there like you.

My husband is a disabled vet, crippled not by a land mine, but in his head by anxiety and depression. Summed up, he is little help with the mental and practical prepping to-do list for our family.

He is panicked by thoughts of EMP, martial law, or the stores closing. If the government fails, his VA stipend, our only income, may be gone. He reacts to this panic by fleeing- be it physically to hang out with sheeple, or mentally by going to sleep.

He is easily overwhelmed and the projects that would help us get an advantage- putting in fencing, moving a 275 gallon water cube, making a coop, earning extra money to acheive goals- they are so big and such work that he freezes up and does nothing.

Until now, I have done what I could with little concern. Prepping for financial collapse or a tornado makes me feel safe and "ready." Sometimes I read about the mental strength it takes to survive and thrive after a stressful event- and I fear for my husband (and thus, the rest of us) because he gets stressed going to Costco. But when those infrequent thoughts would arise, I knew there was little I could do, and I would move back to the tangible, check-offable to-do list.

He is glad to hand over all the surplus money each month for me to do what I wish, reaching any prepping goal on my own without question. He likes for me to learn about a challenge, make a plan, and enact the steps to our safety pretty much just giving him updates. This may seem like a dream come true to some preppers who have whole, healthy spouses who don't approve or agree with prepping, but in reality it is a heavy burden to carry alone. My blogging community is my sounding board, the only ones I have to bounce ideas off of and raise concerns to.

My email box has been inundated with solar flare announcements. My biggest fear  has become a solar flare that will knock out the grid that keeps the nuclear research facility near my home cool. It is less than 12 miles away. Mandatory evacuation guidelines in the event of a nuclear accident say 19 miles, but of course if a solar flare knocked out the grid, there'd be no announcement of its failure or of the "accident" to the public. And my car wouldn't work anyway.

Of course, I immediately began researching moving about 200 miles away. This is such a big deal, and such a big change, that he doesn't want to. I now am planning on moving half my preps and all the duplicates of everything to a storage unit 250 miles away. In rural west Texas, climate-controlled storage units are a high priority and never seem to come up available to rent. Of course, there's the cost of that each month. I'm setting aside the nuclear decontamination (internal) supplements for my family to account for the time it would take to "get away."

I have to say this most recent phase of my prepping life- since I learned of the nuclear training facility- has been the first time I've felt sorta crazy. It's so big, so extreme, so (I hope?) remote. So 100% bad and fatal if it occurs. So close by. The weight of my children, my parents, my husband weigh heavy on my shoulders. Now his grandparents are coming to live with us, and they are an additional element to consider. Setting aside elder care items and although they come with a wealth of knowledge- I have assumed their care for now.

I have come to the only conclusion: I can do what I can do. God is watching over the world, and my family's little place in it. If our salvation is secure, what can really happen? I fear watching my children suffer, but if "the worst" should happen, I am secure to know that they'd be in the best place ever- safe, and suffering/ pain/ uncertainty/ fear free in heaven with the creator who actually, unbelievingly, loves them more than I do.

This is simple and trite, but I've come to the realization that aside from moving forward with my goals, all I can do is take the time to train my children that their lives are in the hands of the Lord, and that whether it is in this life or afterward, He has promised to take care of his children.

We're so pleased you are reading Farming Salt & Light! Choose how you live!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't have any sage words. But I wanted you to know you are prayed for and thought of. You are not alone. -Elizabeth